I haven’t been using this lately. Everything has changed. My life has become a blur of finding myself, working, spending time with people I love and hospital appointments.

My best friend’s ex-boyfriend very tragically hung himself. This made me question everything in my life, and somehow through the ashes I’ve found empowerment.

I have broken up with Dean. I love him but I don’t know who I am, I had become absorbed into him and I wasn’t happy. I wish it could have been any other way, but I know I need to be who I am on my own two feet and overcome all my identity issues.

My headaches are worse and I have been having x-rays done and being referred to a neurologist. And in other health news I have been diagnosed with some pre-cancerous cells that I have to have an operation in a few weeks to be removed.

So a lot is happening to me. I’m moving house in a few weeks to live with some strangers. I’ve been living by myself for about a month now… I have done all the usual go off the rails self-destruction boozing and partying. I kind of feel like I’m reaching the next level now whatever that is.

— Franki Durbin

(Source: longlivejava, via spiritmolecule)

chaiivee:

there is an odd tension
a button almost undone
but hanging on to the
suture of fabric to fabric:
this life, another life.
in the mirror, five years ago
in the mirror, this morning
the anxiety was tangible.
if only i could cut the paths
of my life from scrapbook
paper, directing the texture,
the patterns, the straight
or curve. if only i could
send myself a postcard,
receive the message: it’s
just fine to cry, but do not
overwater yourself. standing
in the strip of sun spilling
from between the sheets
of clouds and through the
squares of window panes
i lie. this is the costume:
the eyeliner, the lip stick,
the “i am well, and how
are you?” fooling no one.

— Brad Meltzer

(Source: likeafieldmouse, via allegorys)

samsaranmusing:

Depriving oneself of nutrition to meet some imagined impossible standard of beauty is both physically and emotionally harmful.  Obsessive concern with food is attachment yet many young people, both female and male, do this.  Our bodies are machines which require fuel and materials to repair and rebuild tissues.  

This said however, we should make sure we eat the right kind of food in the proper quantities.  Proper nutrition is as important for our spiritual growth as a good meditation practice.  Once we get in tune with our bodies our bodies will tell us what and when to eat.  Fresh fruit, vegetables both leaf and tuber, rice, oats, whole wheat, barley, nuts and legumes should make up the bulk of our diet. If you eat meat then lean cuts, fish and poultry in moderate amounts should suffice.

It has been shown that where a body is properly nourished it increases alertness and mental acuity to stay just a little less that satiated. An tiny edge of hunger is just what we need to be active and alert. Malnutrition on the other hand leaves us anxious, dull and listless.

☯ Samsaran ☯